We Are Oviously Not Very Bright

January 2014

If you read the previous post then you will know that finding - and keeping - childcare for our nine-year-old while we are away has been something of a debacle.  Although my mom is technically retired, she does work part-time - sometimes.  And when it comes to volunteering and bike-riding, that is one hella' active senior citizen!  Of course we have other friends and family in my hometown but most of them work full-time or are just not up for hanging with a possibly-energetic, bathroom-humor-loving 9-year-old boy.  Scheduling childcare around my extended family's ever-changing work schedules, vacations, and delicate sensibilities was starting to seem like hitting a moving target - with jello.

However, yesterday I had an epiphany.  I realized that we just so happen to have one of those sometimes-useful items commonly known as "a teenager."  As most of you who are familiar with teenagers know, when not moping or eye-rolling everyone to death, they can sometimes double as indentured servants/babysitters in times of need.  And this was most definitely a time of need!

But, Marti, you say, "How could you possibly forget that you just so happened to have a teenager lying about?"  Well, the truth is that that she had eye-rolled herself into blindess years ago and was currently tucked away in the attic trying to mope her eyes back into place...  Ok, no, not really.  Our teenager is only a part-time resident at our house, as she generally resides with her mom.  But it dawned on me yesterday that by the time of our trip, she'll be a high school graduate with no plans until the fall!  And best of all, she's unemployed and naively innocent about money so shipping her off to another state to watch her 9-year-old brother for a pittance sounds like the vacation of a lifetime to her!  Plus, she's good friends with my younger cousins and their friends and is vibrating with anticipation at the thought of getting to spend so much time with them.  And the fact that my extended family spoils both kids rotten doesn't hurt either!

All involved parties have approved the addition of my step-daughter to the trip so it looks like Operation:  Indentured Babysitter is a go!  Now my mom's active senior lifestyle will remain uncramped and I don't have to worry about coming home to any Lord of the Flies kind of incidents.  Win-win!

It's Been a While

January 2014

It's been a few weeks since I've posted but that's only because I've been busy upsetting family members with my travel plans...

Five years ago I had this crazy idea that my husband and I could take a romantic cruise over a long weekend to celebrate my thirty-first birthday.  Without our toddler.  Silly me.

The stars had seemingly aligned with my birthday and my university's fall break all being at the same time.  Although my mom lived eight hours away, she was retired, active, and in love with her grandson.  Of course she would stay at our house and watch him!  I thought.  No.  What?!  No, she wasn't down with that.  Five days/nights - three days at daycare + two full weekend days/nights + two dogs + one three year old prone to infectious diseases = Hella no!  *sigh*  Ok, I get that.  Who can blame anyone for not wanting to be at the mercy of a toddler for a long weekend?  Why do you think my husband and I were trying to leave town!?

Fast-forward five years:  The ten year anniversary [that no one thought we would make it to] is looming.  The "Outbreak" monkey is going on nine years and has been infection-free for at least three of those.  Paid summer vacations are kind of a thing with my new gig.  The stars appear to be aligning once more...  No.  What?!  Seriously, WHAT?!  I've bought the freaking tickets!!  Could we not have had this discussion somewhere between "Thank you for booking with Expedia! Your booking is confirmed," and "Proof of citizenship is required for international travel"?!?!  Well, you know, afterall, how well does one know one's own grandchild after only spending weeks at a time every few months with them for the past nine years.  YMCA camps were suggested in lieu of babysitting...

Ok, it's true:  despite all the years of 100's on his grade-school tests and being admitted into the elementary school honors program, he really could be a secret Ritalin-popping, wall-climbing, chicken-head-biting [Outbreak] monkey.  Really.

Except that he's so NOT!!!  Librarians have told me that they forgot my kid was even in the room because he was so quiet, with his mound of books off in the corner.  Granted, he has his diving-off-of-office-furniture moments but who hasn't?  He's certainly not an "Outbreak" monkey.  He's more of a seeing-eye Golden Retriever.  Sure, he might smell a little funny and pee on your rug when he gets overly-excited but when you're stroking out, he will totally carry your blood pressure meds to you in his mouth while only ingesting half of them.  What more can you ask of a nine year old boy?

I swear he's had his flea bath this month...

Where Are You Now?

Also January 2014

A few years ago - ok, eight - back when all the social networking sites were still jockeying for position, before Facebook shanked them all in a back alley and made them into skin suits, I accepted every questionable friend request on every fly-by-night social network.  Yep, I had them all - Multiply, MySpace, Yahoo!_360, Friendster, Facebook, LinkedIn, Orkut, some others I can't remember, and... WAYN?  From what I can tell, WAYN (Where Are You Now), is a foreign mail-order bride/international hook-up site.  To each his/her own, I guess.

After years of ignoring mesages like "Petr would like to explore Seattle with you" from WAYN in my email inbox, with a multi-country trip looming, it dawned on me that maybe I should embrace the crazy and make it work for me.  For once.  So I re-upped my password, revamped my profile pic, attempted to remove my real name, and dove in!  After posting sincere travel questions interwoven with a vague itinerary, I was pleasantly surprised to get some thoughtful and helpful responses - and, thankfully, only one "The only destination you need to worry about is my bed!"  Delete.  [Future WAYN posting notes:  Any/all posts/questions need to include, "My husband and I..." or "The hubby and I..." or at the very least "The ol' ball and chain..."]

Marriage proposals aside, I think my gamble paid off and I've learned things about the UK that I hadn't picked up on from the travel guides:  public tranporation options, possible destinations and even some Scottish slang.  According to Ewan, a "brolly" would be a good thing to bring on my trip because things could get wet.  Hmm... Ewan, I really hope that you're referring to rain jackets and thunder storms.  :/