It's Been a While

January 2014

It's been a few weeks since I've posted but that's only because I've been busy upsetting family members with my travel plans...

Five years ago I had this crazy idea that my husband and I could take a romantic cruise over a long weekend to celebrate my thirty-first birthday.  Without our toddler.  Silly me.

The stars had seemingly aligned with my birthday and my university's fall break all being at the same time.  Although my mom lived eight hours away, she was retired, active, and in love with her grandson.  Of course she would stay at our house and watch him!  I thought.  No.  What?!  No, she wasn't down with that.  Five days/nights - three days at daycare + two full weekend days/nights + two dogs + one three year old prone to infectious diseases = Hella no!  *sigh*  Ok, I get that.  Who can blame anyone for not wanting to be at the mercy of a toddler for a long weekend?  Why do you think my husband and I were trying to leave town!?

Fast-forward five years:  The ten year anniversary [that no one thought we would make it to] is looming.  The "Outbreak" monkey is going on nine years and has been infection-free for at least three of those.  Paid summer vacations are kind of a thing with my new gig.  The stars appear to be aligning once more...  No.  What?!  Seriously, WHAT?!  I've bought the freaking tickets!!  Could we not have had this discussion somewhere between "Thank you for booking with Expedia! Your booking is confirmed," and "Proof of citizenship is required for international travel"?!?!  Well, you know, afterall, how well does one know one's own grandchild after only spending weeks at a time every few months with them for the past nine years.  YMCA camps were suggested in lieu of babysitting...

Ok, it's true:  despite all the years of 100's on his grade-school tests and being admitted into the elementary school honors program, he really could be a secret Ritalin-popping, wall-climbing, chicken-head-biting [Outbreak] monkey.  Really.

Except that he's so NOT!!!  Librarians have told me that they forgot my kid was even in the room because he was so quiet, with his mound of books off in the corner.  Granted, he has his diving-off-of-office-furniture moments but who hasn't?  He's certainly not an "Outbreak" monkey.  He's more of a seeing-eye Golden Retriever.  Sure, he might smell a little funny and pee on your rug when he gets overly-excited but when you're stroking out, he will totally carry your blood pressure meds to you in his mouth while only ingesting half of them.  What more can you ask of a nine year old boy?

I swear he's had his flea bath this month...