Rough Riders: Part Tvær

When good ponies go bad...

Who knew that three days after our epic friendship fest, my association with 'As the Icelandic horse-pony would land me in hot water with U.S. Customs.  Did you know that question number 12 on the U.S. Customs & Border Protection form asks if you have been in close proximity of (i.e. touching/handling) livestock?  I didn't either.  Unless the Customs officials have been reading my blog (unlikely, right? that's the NSA, isn't it?), they couldn't prove that I was in close proximity to livestock.  But still I saw no reason not to be honest with my government officials - my first mistake - so I naively checked the "yes" box and wrote "horse" next to where it said "livestock."    

I started to realize that I may have screwed up when I got shunted over to a line that was suspiciously longer than the line the rest of the passengers from my plane were in.  My suspicions were confirmed when I got an irritated-looking agent who started grilling me not about item # 12, but about item # 13, carrying currency or monetary instruments over $10,000 into the U.S.  Seriously?!!  Did he not know how to read the damn form I spent so much time filling out!?  The conversation went a little like this:

Evil Agent:  "You're bringing in currency or goods valued over $10,000?" 

Me:  "What?  No, I have a few souvenirs but they're not worth any more than $100.  I checked 'yes' to the livestock question because I rode a horse in Iceland."

E.A.:  <flipping the form around but being no less intimidating>  "You rode a horse?"

Me:  "Yes, in Iceland but just for two hours."

E.A.:  "Why were you traveling abroad?"

Me:  <feeling like we were back on safer ground>  "Just for leisure."

E.A.:  <intimidating stare>  "Leisure?"  

Me:  "Yes, my husband and I went to Scotland and England to celebrate our anniversary and then I flew to meet my sister in Iceland."

E.A.:  <looking around>  "Where's your husband?"

Me:  "He's at home in Columbia, SC."

E.A.:  <looking like he'd finally caught me red-handed>  "He's not with you?" 

Me:  "No, he flew home after England.  But he's going to pick me up from the airport later."  <I really hoped I wasn't dragging Mark into whatever sordid international incident this guy was trying to fabricate!>

E.A.:  "So your sister lives in Iceland?"

Me:  "No, she flew to meet me there and we traveled around together."

E.A.:  <exasperated>  "Where is your sister now?!"

Me:  "In Kentucky, where she lives.  She just arrived there.  We had separate flights since we were going to separate destinations."

E.A.:  <bending back down to my form and getting extra condescending>  "You say you bought a necklace that only cost $10?"

Me:  "Yes, it was just some beads from a craft store."

E.A.:  <finally getting to the point>  "Did someone give you goods to carry in your luggage?!"

Me:  "No, of course not!"

E.A.  <unrelenting>  "Do you understand the severity of what I'm asking you!?"

Me:  <getting desperate> "Yes, but all I did was ride a horse in Iceland!  It was just two hours!"

E.A.:  <grudgingly>  "All right, you can go."

Thank goodness because he was so determined that I was starting to think that maybe I was guilty of something!  :P  From now on, I will have to think twice about hanging out with strange foreign ponies...